As exams draw closer and more and more panic sets in, I can’t help but think of happier times of trees and the flowers and the birds and the bees (which incidentally IS school-related. Hello, sex-ed…). Of having conversations (or – prepare yourselves – meeting up) with friends for more than 30 minutes at a time. Of summers and what will happen in them…
I’m going to break down the average summer for the average pre-med student, or an ultra-keen med student – and FYI, there is no such thing as a med student who is NOT ultra-keen. Why would med students be ultra-keen, you wonder, when all we need is to learn (and 60%)? It’s bred into our bones as surely as some people are bred to be athletic or drool excessively or say inappropriate things in social settings. Some of us want to be good doctors. Others want to get into incredibly difficult and laborious residency programs so they can say “sure, saving a baby from a burning building is hard, but it’s not neurosurgery.” (Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THNPmhBl-8I). Then there are those still who want to save the world. Below is a list of what I want.
| What my delusional mind conjures up for the summer: | What will actually happen: |
| Master some kind of artsy fartsy class like painting or pottery or interpretive acting using my toes. | Doodle smiley faces in my notebook that I bring for “creative writing” at the beach. |
| Learn another language (like Italian) and wow the locals with it in Italy, accent-free. | Practice rusty Chinese with my parents and be reprimanded for how poorly I speak. |
| Lounge in Italy in a villa and make wine by stomping on grapes (common wine-making practice, no?) | Travel to Surrey and drink cheap beer. |
| Write a best-selling novel about something incredibly profound. | Read way too many novels so trashy I can’t even talk about them on a blog. |
| Bike the perimeter of Vancouver Island. And due to its wild success, extend the trip to all the way up the BC Coast. Maybe even Alaska. (If there were still a land bridge, I’d be well in Asia somewhere) | Bike to Richmond on a good day. And take the skytrain back. |
| Bake a gazillion healthy goods for friends, family, the sick, and the homeless. (If there were still orphanages, then I sure would get them too!) | Eat a gazillion baked goods, loaded in cream, chocolate, and butter and topped with cream, chocolate, and butter. |
| Cure cancer in my backyard. | Sunbathe in my backyard. |
| Eradicate HIV/AIDS. And those pesky malaria-ridden mosquitoes while I’m at it. | Get bitten by mosquitoes. Hopefully not malaria-ridden. Maybe West Nile, though. |
| Eliminate world hunger. | Eliminate MY hunger. And overcompensate every time. |
| Let’s just throw in world peace and gun control to round it all up (if you don’t get the Miss Congeniality reference, you’re missing out on a high-class, ultra-intellectual cinematic piece) | Watch “Killers” (violence AND a Katherine Heigl-led ultra chick-flick? A little something for everyone). |
Huh, even the list of things I think will actually happen sound a bit intense and delusional, now that I’m reading it. Maybe I should have made 3 columns…
Ramblings of a Mad Med Student 